


Stained

by tommotopper



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:14:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24129544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tommotopper/pseuds/tommotopper
Summary: Stain[steyn]to mark (something) with colored patches or dirty marks that are not easily removed.Let's just say her heart and soul was stained. His love for her was pure.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne/Original Female Character(s), Luke Hemmings/Original Female Character(s), Zayn Malik/Original Female Character(s)





	Stained

**Author's Note:**

> This is a revamped edit of the first chapter of an AU fic I have been trying to write for years now. Trigger Warning: some mention of drug use. There are a few mentions of original characters, the main character being one of them. All members of the band will be mentioned, but only ⅗ is mentioned in this “chapter”. I began working on/thinking about this since before coming to college, so of course the setting is college because that was the coolest thing for high school me. 
> 
> ** I'm posting this as part of my college class surrounding the world of Fanfiction

She stares at her reflection in the mirror, taking in a deep breath before exhaling a few moments later. She is stronger than this, she doesn’t need to go searching through her stash to find the little bag of white powder that has been sitting there since the start of the summer. The stress of the new year would eventually go away and she will get used to him being around again. But what if the new year stays like this or if she falls into old habits with him again? She couldn’t deal with the idea of that, and that thought finally makes her walk out of the bathroom and into her room. Rolling herself into the sheets, she takes a deep breath again, a much more relaxing and soothing one. She was stronger than the need for a drug. 

Anderson scrolls through her phone, her fingers tempted to click on the contact of her best friend. He always helps when she wants to give in, when she wants to give up. She can’t help but feel like a burden because it shouldn’t be his responsibility, but he does it without a complaint. The last time she had given in, it was bad. She woke up to cold water in her face and wet clothes, but worst of all, a furrowed brow and sad hazel eyes. 

\-----

_“I can’t stand seeing you like this, Anderson.” Zayn frowns, running his fingers through her wet hair. The shower water still running over them. This wasn’t the first time Anderson had come to in the shower with cold water spraying over her face, Zayn’s face over hers with concern but relief once they made eye contact._

_“I’m trying, Zayn. I really am.” Anderson whispers, tearing her eyes away from his sad ones. She was telling the truth, she was trying._

_“I know. I believe you. We’ll get back to it,” He says as he reaches over to turn the shower off after noticing Anderson’s chattering teeth. Zayn stands up, pulling her up with him. He wraps a towel around her shoulders and rubs it against her in an attempt to create heat for her smaller body. She wraps the towel tighter around herself before stepping out of the shower._

_“You know I’m not as strong as you, Zayn. I’m trying my best.” Walking back into her room, Anderson removes her wet clothes before wrapping the towel around herself properly. Anderson lets the warmth of the towel and her room calm her shivering body as Zayn returns from putting their clothes in the dryer. With a towel around his waist, he sits next to the girl with wet hair._

_“It’s not about being as strong as me, it’s just about being strong for yourself,” Zayn says softly. “We’ll just try again. Your hard work isn’t going unnoticed, Anderson.” His hand brings one of hers into his own before bringing it up to his lips, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. “We got this,”_

That was almost three months ago, and here she is, craving the satisfaction of just one small bump. She won’t give in, though. She wants to call him, maybe just even hear his voice in his “leave a message” greeting, but she doesn’t want to intrude on his time, especially if he was out with Alison. Just thinking her name caused a weight change in her heart. It was a few hours later that dreadful day when she found out he had been seeing her. 

_After getting dressed in their now extra warm clothes, they sat together on the couch and mindlessly flipped through the channels. Anything to avoid the conversation of the drugs, especially after the screaming and fighting about anything else lying around in the apartment. Anderson finally relaxed into his side when the moment was ruined by Zayn’s phone ringing on the coffee table._

_"Hello?" His voice answered in her ear. Anderson waited for him to continue talking. "Yeah, we're still on for tonight... No, don't worry, I'll pick you up on time... I'm with a friend... No, she's just a friend, Alison.” The truth hurt. “Yes, I'll see you tonight... Bye." He ended the call with a soft smile on his lips. Anderson made a home on the other corner of the couch as he slipped his phone back onto the table._

_"Alison? The one girl I said not to go date. Really, Zayn?" She faked a laugh._

_"What?" He laughed softly. "She's really nice. She isn't a bitch like you said."_

_"Obviously we have different definitions of a bitch." She rolled her eyes, bringing her knees to her chest as she focused her attention to the screen._

_"I'm taking her to that one bar by the lake. I heard it's really good there." Zayn shared his plans for the evening. “I should probably get going so I can get everything ready,”_

_“I’ll see you later, then.” She says dryly. She didn’t mean to be rude, but it all hurt so much._

_“Bye, love you,” He placed a quick kiss to the top of her head as he walked around the couch, grabbing his keys and heading out the door. Anderson turned off the tv and made her way back to her room, enveloping herself in the blankets until her eyes were heavy enough for sleep._

_\------_

Anderson makes her way out of her room and to the kitchen, deciding making a good meal for herself will be enough to distract her from a different type of hunger. She picks up her phone, and instead of calling the number she wants to, she texts her brother Louis and of course he insists on bringing his boyfriend Harry, which was the plan anyway. A good meal and better company will make for a good rest of the night. 

About an hour later, Anderson is just done putting down plates at the table as there is a knock on the door. She pulls it open and is met with the hazel eyes she’s been thinking about all day. Well, if that isn’t the most cliché thing ever. 

“We picked up a stray. I hope you don’t mind,” Her brother states as he pushes his way into her apartment. His boyfriend walks in after him with a soft apologetic smile, and she knows he tried to put up a fight in her honor. In her head, Harry tried to reason with Louis that it probably wasn’t the greatest idea for Zayn to come with, considering she hadn’t spoken to him in two weeks. A new record, for sure. But Louis never listens to reason, so she is grateful for Harry’s attempt. 

“Join us,” She smiles at Zayn, closing the door behind him once he finally steps in. 

They all sit around the table after Anderson puts one more placement for Zayn, and the boys almost immediately dig in. The four of them eat while discussing their plans for the rest of the semester and they can’t help but gush about their favorite classes they are taking this year. Louis just sits and listens because he graduated last year, but landed a job right in the city so he gets to stay close and live with Harry. Or more like Harry lives with him. They all technically live off campus, meaning they aren’t in the dorms, but are still relatively close to campus. Anderson lives short of a 15 minute walk to most of her classes, the boys all living about the same distance. Zayn lives the closest to the campus just because he lives in one of the frat houses. You can barely call that group of men a fraternity anymore, but they do throw the best parties on campus so nobody really complains about them. 

“Where is Dalia?” Louis asks about her roommate. She’s a cool girl, a pinch shorter than Anderson and way more beautiful, in her opinion. She wishes they hung out more, but they each have their own circles, but when they do spend time together in their apartment, she finds it to be some of the best conversations ever. 

“I think she’s out with Thomas,” Anderson shrugs, remembering Dalia shouting something before leaving the apartment. Leaving Anderson to face her demons alone. 

“We rarely see her. Did you scare her away or something?” Louis teases, and she rolls her eyes. “If she doesn’t stay here as often, maybe Zayn should mov- ow, Harry.” Anderson looks to see Harry with pursed lips and furrowed brows that melt into a fake smile when he turns to her. 

“We all know Zayn loves his space at the frat house. Right, Zayn?” Harry asks through his teeth. Anderson kind of misses the cozy room in that mansion of a building. She had spent a lot of time in there between classes because it was closer to classes than her dorm her first year. 

“I actually haven’t been there in a bit.” Zayn replies slowly after swallowing his last bite of food. The way his eyes dart between Anderson and the boys makes Anderson’s heart sink because she knows where he has been. Every time she’s wanted to dial his number, he was busy with his new girlfriend and probably wouldn’t have answered anyway. Or at least that is what she’s convinced herself at this point. 

Harry frowns once he realizes the same thing as her, but it is too late because Louis starts asking questions. How can a brother hate his own sister so much? Once Zayn’s very active love life comes up, Anderson takes that as her cue to start clearing the table. She curses the open concept of this apartment because her back turned to the table doesn’t make her hard of hearing, leaving her no choice but to focus on scrubbing the dishes instead of hearing Zayn talk about his date. Anderson takes her time with each dish and each utensil, even taking time to inspect the glasses of any streaks. A hand rests on her shoulder and she turns her head to see Harry giving her a small smile, almost pitiful. She sighs and gives him a small smile before finally shutting off the tap and drying off her hands. 

Anderson didn’t really plan for the boys to stay all that long, but after everything was cleaned up, they settled into the living room. Zayn is sitting in the recliner while the other three are cuddled into each other’s sides. If Anderson could ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach, she would say this was like old times, but the feeling is there so she can’t. They decide on a movie while Anderson gets up and opens a bottle of wine for them all to share. About half way into the movie and a bottle later, Louis is the first to speak. 

“I think Harry and I are going to head out,” He says before nudging the sleeping boy on his shoulder. “We’ll see you guys sometime this week. Don’t forget we have mom’s party this month, Ands.” He reminds his sister, standing up and a sleepy Harry groans before doing the same. Before they walk out, they say their goodbyes and Louis tells Zayn that their mother wants him there too, of course. Their mother already considers him as her second son. Helping a kid grow up out of his toxic home can do that to any mother’s heart. 

“Is it cool if I stay the night? Don’t really feel like getting back to the house tonight just in case there’s a party or something.” Zayn breaks the silence, and Anderson can’t help but shrug. Of course she wants him to stay the night, to hold her while she tries to relax from the day. From her thoughts.

She wants to tell him about what happened today, but that will just make him ask him too many questions that she doesn’t really want to answer right now. After a few slow moving moments, they decide to turn off the tv and sit there in silence. Getting up, Anderson brings a blanket to Zayn from the chair she’s been sitting on. 

“I’ll text Dalia and let her know you’re staying over, so you don’t scare her again.” Anderson grins while Zayn lets out a chuckle. The amount of times she has woken up to a screaming Dalia because she thought a stranger was in the house, Zayn being that “stranger” is almost innumerable at this point. Anderson considers taping a message to her front door this time. 

They say goodnight and Anderson makes her way to her room, shutting the door behind her. Getting into bed is the easy part. Trying to fall asleep is a different story. She lays on her back for what feels like at least two eternities before finally falling asleep. Her bed feels empty and lacks the heat of the body who is warming up the worn sofa in the living room.

Maybe this is punishment. 


End file.
